Make provider catalog refresh deadlines configurable (#3322)

* fix(providers): make catalog refresh deadlines configurable

Provider startup can legitimately exceed a fixed short timeout when catalog discovery has substantial initialization work. Give each provider refresh one configurable deadline covering availability and the complete catalog probe, and cancel named child operations before allowing retries so timed-out work cannot accumulate in the background.

* fix(opencode): abort catalog server acquisition

A provider refresh could expire while the helper server was still starting because acquisition only tracked the activity without observing its abort signal. Reject acquisition before transferring a server reference, while leaving the manager-owned startup reusable by the next caller.

* test(file-observer): allow native burst recovery

packages/server/src/utils/spawn.ts

@@ -27,6 +27,7 @@ interface ExecCommandOptions extends ExternalEnvOptions {
   timeout?: number;
   maxBuffer?: number;
   shell?: boolean | string;
+  signal?: AbortSignal;
 }
 
 interface ExecCommandResult {
@@ -77,6 +78,7 @@ export function spawnProcess(
     ...spawnOptions,
     env: childEnv,
     shell,
+    signal: options?.signal,
     windowsHide: true,
   });
 }