215 lines
6.5 KiB
Markdown
215 lines
6.5 KiB
Markdown
# Before/After: Sales/Marketing Style
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Sales copy, marketing emails, and promotional content transformations.
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---
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## Example 1: Product Launch Email
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### Before (AI)
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> Subject: 🚀 The Future of Project Management is Here!
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>
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> Dear Valued Customer,
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>
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> We are incredibly excited to announce the launch of ProjectFlow 3.0—a truly game-changing update that will fundamentally transform how your team collaborates!
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>
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> Here's the thing: we've been listening to your feedback. And we've built something special.
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>
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> What's new?
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> ✅ Real-time collaboration (yes, finally!)
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> ✅ AI-powered task suggestions
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> ✅ 50% faster load times
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> ✅ Brand new mobile app
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>
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> But here's what really matters: these features will save your team an average of 5 hours per week. Let that sink in. That's 260 hours per year. Per person.
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>
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> Ready to experience the future of work?
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>
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> Click below to upgrade now and receive 20% off your first year!
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>
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> [UPGRADE NOW]
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>
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> We can't wait to see what you build with ProjectFlow 3.0!
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>
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> Onwards and upwards,
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> The ProjectFlow Team
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### After (Humanized)
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> Subject: ProjectFlow 3.0: Real-time collaboration + 50% faster
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>
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> ProjectFlow 3.0 is live.
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>
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> New this release:
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> - Real-time collaboration
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> - AI task suggestions
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> - 50% faster load times
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> - Redesigned mobile app
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>
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> Early users report saving 5 hours/week on coordination overhead. That's 260 hours/year per person.
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>
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> Upgrade before March 1 for 20% off the first year.
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>
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> [Upgrade to 3.0]
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### Changes Made
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- Removed rocket emoji from subject
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- Cut "Dear Valued Customer" (generic)
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- Removed "incredibly excited," "truly game-changing," "fundamentally transform"
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- Cut "Here's the thing" and "we've built something special"
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- Removed "yes, finally!" aside
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- Cut "But here's what really matters" and "Let that sink in"
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- Removed "Ready to experience the future of work?"
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- Cut "We can't wait to see what you build"
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- Replaced "Onwards and upwards" sign-off
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- 156 words → 69 words (56% reduction)
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---
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## Example 2: Cold Outreach
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### Before (AI)
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> Subject: Quick question about [Company]'s growth strategy
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>
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> Hi [Name],
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>
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> I hope this email finds you well! I've been following [Company]'s journey and I have to say—I'm genuinely impressed by what you're building.
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>
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> Here's the thing: I noticed you recently raised your Series B (congrats!). In my experience working with 100+ growth-stage companies, this is exactly when scaling challenges start to creep in.
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>
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> That's where we come in.
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>
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> DataSync helps companies like yours:
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> ✅ Reduce data integration time by 70%
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> ✅ Eliminate manual data entry errors
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> ✅ Scale operations without scaling headcount
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>
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> I'd love to share how we helped [Similar Company] save $2M in their first year.
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>
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> Do you have 15 minutes this week for a quick call?
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>
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> Looking forward to connecting!
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>
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> Best,
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> [Name]
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### After (Humanized)
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> Subject: Data integration after Series B
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> Hi [Name],
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>
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> Congrats on the Series B.
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>
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> Post-funding scaling often breaks data workflows. We helped [Similar Company] reduce integration time by 70% and save $2M in year one.
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>
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> Worth a 15-minute call to see if we can help [Company]?
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>
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> [Name]
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### Changes Made
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- Simplified subject line
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- Cut "I hope this email finds you well"
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- Removed "I'm genuinely impressed by what you're building"
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- Cut "Here's the thing" and "In my experience working with"
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- Removed "creeps in" (performative)
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- Cut "That's where we come in"
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- Collapsed bullet list to key claim
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- Removed "Looking forward to connecting"
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- 142 words → 52 words (63% reduction)
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---
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## Example 3: Feature Announcement
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### Before (AI)
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> Big news! 🎉
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>
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> We're thrilled to announce a feature that's going to completely change how you work with documents.
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>
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> Introducing: Smart Templates
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> Here's the uncomfortable truth about document creation: you spend way too much time on formatting. Our data shows the average user wastes 3 hours per week on repetitive document tasks.
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>
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> Not anymore.
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>
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> Smart Templates uses AI to:
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> - Learn your formatting preferences
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> - Auto-populate recurring content
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> - Suggest improvements as you write
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>
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> Think about it: no more copying and pasting. No more fixing margins. No more "wait, what font do we use again?"
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>
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> This is what the future of productivity looks like.
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>
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> Try Smart Templates free for 14 days. No credit card required.
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>
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> [START FREE TRIAL]
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>
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> Let us know what you think!
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### After (Humanized)
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> New feature: Smart Templates
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>
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> Average users spend 3 hours/week on document formatting. Smart Templates cuts that significantly.
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>
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> It learns your formatting preferences, auto-populates recurring content, and suggests improvements while you write.
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>
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> 14-day free trial, no card required.
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>
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> [Try Smart Templates]
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### Changes Made
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- Removed "Big news!" with emoji
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- Cut "thrilled to announce" and "completely change"
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- Removed "Here's the uncomfortable truth"
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- Cut "Not anymore." dramatic fragment
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- Removed "Think about it" and rhetorical questions
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- Cut "This is what the future of productivity looks like"
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- Removed "Let us know what you think"
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- 145 words → 50 words (66% reduction)
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---
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## Example 4: Case Study Intro
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### Before (AI)
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> When TechCorp came to us, they were struggling. Really struggling.
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>
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> Here's the thing: they had great products, great people, and great intentions. But their customer churn rate was 40%. Let that sink in. Nearly half their customers were leaving every year.
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>
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> The uncomfortable truth? They didn't actually understand why customers were churning. They had data—mountains of it—but no insights.
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>
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> That's where our Customer Intelligence Platform came in.
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>
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> In just 90 days, we helped TechCorp:
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> ✅ Identify their top 5 churn predictors
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> ✅ Reduce churn by 60%
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> ✅ Save $4.2M in annual recurring revenue
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>
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> And here's the best part: they didn't need to hire a single data scientist.
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>
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> Want to see how we did it?
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>
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> [READ THE FULL CASE STUDY]
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### After (Humanized)
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> TechCorp had 40% annual customer churn. They had data but couldn't identify why customers were leaving.
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>
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> We deployed our Customer Intelligence Platform. In 90 days:
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> - Identified top 5 churn predictors
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> - Reduced churn by 60%
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> - Saved $4.2M in annual recurring revenue
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>
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> No data science hire required.
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>
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> [Read the case study]
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### Changes Made
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- Removed "struggling. Really struggling."
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- Cut "Here's the thing" and "Let that sink in"
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- Removed "The uncomfortable truth?"
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- Cut "That's where X came in"
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- Removed emoji checkmarks
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- Cut "And here's the best part"
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- Removed rhetorical question
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- 137 words → 57 words (58% reduction)
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