docs: rewrite CONTRIBUTING with maintainer path

CONTRIBUTING.md

@@ -1,14 +1,24 @@
 # Contributing to Paseo
 
-Paseo is an opinionated product maintained by one person.
+Paseo is an opinionated product maintained by one person right now.
 
-I read every issue and PR myself, and I am selective about what contributions I accept.
+The product covers a lot of surface: mobile, desktop, web, the daemon, the relay, and both self-hosted and hosted setups.
 
-Good ideas still need to fit the shape of the product: a PR can be technically correct and still not belong in Paseo.
+Contributing takes a lot of context that is very hard to transfer. That's why product, design, architecture, and workflow decisions are currently all made by the maintainer.
 
-Core product, design, architecture, and workflow changes are not accepted.
+## Becoming a maintainer
 
-Follow these rules if you want your PR to be merged:
+There's no formal process to become a maintainer, if you consistently contribute and help out, you'll become one.
+
+Here's the progression:
+
+1. Get involved in the community: answer questions in Discord and on GitHub
+2. Triage bugs: replicate and help fix them
+3. Work on maintainer-approved features
+
+## Pull requests
+
+✅ Will be accepted
 
 - Keep it to one focused change
 - Link to an issue
@@ -18,15 +28,25 @@ Follow these rules if you want your PR to be merged:
 - UI changes need screenshots or video for every affected platform: iOS, Android, desktop, and web
 - If you only tested one platform, say that clearly
 
-Your PR will be closed if you do any of these:
+⛔️ Will be rejected
 
 - Bundle unrelated changes
 - Fail basic checks like typecheck, formatting or linting
-- Make product, design, or architecture changes without prior discussion
+- Add a feature or design change that wasn't discussed first
 - Submit no evidence of testing
 - Skip the linked issue
 - Clearly fully AI-generated PR
 
+## Requesting features
+
+If you need a feature implemented, create a Github issue or a thread in Discord.
+
+Explain the problem you want to solve: your use case, where Paseo falls short today, and the flow you expect.
+
 ## AI assistance
 
-AI in the loop is fine. The bar is whether _you_ tested the change and can explain why it works. A confident wall of AI prose with no evidence of testing is a red flag and will get closed.
+Using AI to help write code is fine, but you must:
+
+- Ensure your agents read the docs
+- Understand the code you submit
+- Review and test the code yourself